First post, Collusion, Playoffs - Oh My!

Happy Wacky Season Folks!

First post of the year, kinda like last year. Been busy, would say I've been lazy, but I've really just been busy.

Thanks for playing and kicking me in the pants this season, really appreciate it. If anybody wants to take over the league and provide entertainment, deal with Kendra being silly, or do the bare minimum and schedule next years draft, let me know...

Because just like last year, I've quit fantasy football. Again. Maybe for the 4th or 5th time now. 

Playoffs!

Congrats to Kenneth and Erica for finishing 1 & 2, with actual winning records and getting first round byes!

Congrats on the rest of everyone else for being mediocre. Seriously, 58.3% of the league is 7-7, like the league is over .500 at being .500. 

This week, we'll the best of the 7-7s duke it out and see who ends up 8-7!

Mark vs Kieth - Battle of the Brother-in-Law!

Kendra vs David - Intermarital Battle of the Vetoed Trades!

Collusion!

It certainly did look really fishy when David trades away a 2nd, and two 5th ranked players for a 15th, 29th and 40th ranked players to Kendra, while they happen to be playing in the playoffs and residing the same domicile.

You know, that kinda looks like they're loading up a team to win in the playoffs!

This Commish may be asleep at the wheel, but at least he knows when there's a buck in the back seat!

So the story goes that David lost a side bet and was supposed to temporarily trade 3 players of Kendra's choosing... and then trade them back next week.

So anyway, I veto them because I haven't gotten to do in awhile and it makes me feel special.

And everything is now right in the world. Disaster averted! Have fun at the musical David!

Oh, and the trade deadline is Dec. 14th. Thanks for the help ESPN!

Stuff

Here's the Chargers coach after Thursday night's game:

Cheerleaders! (Wouldn't be a season without them!)

Championship - And the winner is...

So to recap, for those not following along at home:

Round 1 of the playoffs... Kieth beats Kendra, I beat Mark. Erica and Erin have byes.

Round 2 of the playoffs... Kieth beats Erin, Erica beats Me.

Round 3 of the playoffs, Championship Game, Erica vs Kieth, is going all hunky-dory going into Monday night. Erica is down by 6.56 points with only Josh Allen yet to play.

A little more than 1/2 way into the 1st quarter, a guy basically dies on the field! A bunch of full grown men cry. Then a bunch of guys say "Fuck you NFL, I'm not going back out to play in 5 minutes." The game is suspended.

Yeah, it seemed like the right thing to do in the situation.

So finally tonight, after much grand fuckery, the NFL has decided to rule the game a "no contest." No reschedule, no continuation. But somehow, stats still count.

ESPN, being a bunch of dipshits, don't appear to allow anything for week 18 match-ups because as far as I can tell, they think the season should be over. Also, who knows who's playing vs who isn't playing, it being the last week of the season. I'm not up for that level of commitment.

The way I see it, if we extrapolate Allen's 2.72 points in part of the first round we get 10.88 points per game. The lowest score Allen had all season was in Week 11 with 12.58 points, both would be good enough to push Erica to a win. 

Potentially influenced consultation from Erin determined that the matchup should be considered a tie and that the pot should be split. But isn't the saying something like "A tie is like kissing your sister?" Considering Kieth and Erica are siblings after all, that seems to hit a bit to close to home. We're picking a gosh-dang winner here! And we're doing it tonight!

Independent consultation (cough, Cory, cough) suggested looking at substituting bench players at the QB position, or to make the best possible lineup for both teams. Unfortunately for Kieth, he was fielding both a injured Tua and Hurts... and Erica had good ole' Brady Uggs, who had a massive 43.68 points. 

The one situation in this scenario in which I think Allen fails to acquire the 3.84 points is a game ending injury where he leaves the game completely. However plausible, I find this situation unlikely. 

So, after much deliberation, independent and impartial consultation, analysis, and very very complicated math, I, as ruling commissioner and eater of tacos, hereby deem Erica the winner!

I usually try to avoid the drama... but in this situation, I'm going to use the fun "Adjust Scoring" button and do the right thing. Or at least what I think is the right thing at 1:14 am right now.

Congratulations to Erica as the Winner of the 9th Annual Toilet Bowl!

Monies will be distributed when I feel like it sometime tomorrow. 

It is decided!

Sincerely, 

The Commish

Week 15 - Post #1 of the Season - Playoffs!

So if you didn't notice, I haven't been posting a blog, time to catch up! ... yadda yadda yadda... Playoffs!

You weren't expecting effort, were you?

Playoffs Round 1:

1st Round Byes: #1 Erin (12-2) WHAT?!? and #2 Erica (9-5)

Matchup 1: #5 Newcomer Kieth vs #4 Serial Auto-Drafter Kendra

Matchup 2: #3 Me vs #6 Mark... Mark, I really think you should let me win this, just to be able to watch Erica explode internally trying to decide if she should root for or against Justin Fields.

Mark squeaked into the playoffs with a 6-8 record, topping Cory in tie breakers.

The Kubala household has fallen on hard times, but at least they have each other!

And Sean, if you missed the update, I've been setting Sean's line-up with the least amount of conviction since about week 4. If you lost to Sean at any point this season, that's pretty sad.

Bitch session...

If you feel bad about missing the playoffs, just be lucky that you weren't a guy in my "other league." This guy had the highest points scored (60 pts more than 2nd place) and missed the 6 team playoffs with a 5-9 record. He had a the highest points against by almost 100 points.

This schmuck lost so many match-ups as the 2nd highest scorer in the league! Sad thing was most of those games weren't exactly close... Remember back in week 9 when Mixon went off with 5 TDs? HE HAD MIXON AND LOST that week by 15 pts!

This bad luck loser may, or may not have been me... and I am absolutely not very very bitter about it.

In other news...

And of course, cheerleaders!

Congrats to Seanipoo - 8th Annual Toilet Bowl Winner!

Well, with last nights' incredibly bad matchup between the Browns and the Steelers, Sean won and left the rest of as teary-eyed as good ole Ben Rapistberger playing his last game at Heinz field.

Let's recap the last couple of playoff rounds for those of you not following along in the blog... hint, I haven't been posting.

The 2nd Round of the playoffs saw Sean upset #1 seed Kendra; while #2 seed Brandi put up a week high 146 points to take out Mark.

The Championship match-up between Sean and Brandi came down to the wire last night, with Sean besting Brandi 104.7 to 101.36. Brandi had Nick Chubb going into the Monday night game and it looked like she was going to run away with a win, but never fear the ability of the Browns to screw it up... and they did. Despite playing through a rib injury that apparently happened early in the game, Chubb only had 12 touches and put up 5.8 points, his 2nd lowest score of the season.

3rd place goes to Mark, who peaked just a little too late, with an impressive 152 pts last week. A whole bunch of coulda-woulda-shoulda there.

Congrats again Sean... money will be coming your way. And a smaller amount back to Brandi.

Thanks to everyone for playing again! what a bizarre year of big injuries and covid crap! 

And with that, I'm quitting fantasy football again, at least until next season!

Week 15 - Playoffs Round 1 - I'm technically not late, just on a covid delay

Congrats to those who made the playoffs!

Kendra & Brandi earned byes.

1st Round Match-ups:

Sean (7-7) vs Kenneth (8-6) - This one is not over yet, but Kenneth would need a monster game out of Russell Wilson and for Cooper Kupp to forget where the stadium is. Doesn't seem likely.

Erin (7-7) vs Mark (8-6) - Erin is rolling with the covid squad and has a big hill to climb, but 3 spots left to play on Tuesday. I wasn't expecting to have Tuesday excitement!

Everybody else is looking like the Bears tonight... Hi Erica, you at the game?

"after further review we suck" pic.twitter.com/SByqBMiLUo

— alex (@highlghtheaven) December 21, 2021

Week 14 - Last week I have to set a lineup

One week left until the playoffs start. Here are the standings:

Kendra & Brandi (9-4), definitely in, probably getting first round-byes.

Mark, Kenneth & Cory (7-6), in unless something goes crazy.

Sean, Erin & Erica (6-7), only room for 1, and that person is probably going to need help. I can break this down and look at the match-ups, but I'm far too lazy for that. Besides, nobody is reading this anyway.

Ron & I... I don't know about Ron, but I gave up weeks ago. Approximately 12 weeks ago to be precise.

Cheerleaders

RIP DT

Week 12 - Erin's team name is relevant again this week

I skipped a few weeks, guess what? I don't care, because neither do you. 

Probably going to miss a few more, just an FYI.

Here's a recap. My team sucks. It's worse than Ron's, figure that one out. Also, my team in my other league sucks too.

Here's a look at the standings... if the play-offs started now:

Brandi 8-3 - Not surprising, league try-hard

Kendra 7-4 - This makes me mad

Mark, Sean, Kenneth 6-5 - Gettin' beat by the ladies

Erin 5-6 - Erin's record shouldn't be that good, but you know, I forgot to play a QB last week. Bummer.

Only 3 weeks left... Brandi is probably safe, but still lots of room for movement. 

Happy Thanksgiving yo!

Also, cheerleaders