First post, Collusion, Playoffs - Oh My!

Happy Wacky Season Folks!

First post of the year, kinda like last year. Been busy, would say I've been lazy, but I've really just been busy.

Thanks for playing and kicking me in the pants this season, really appreciate it. If anybody wants to take over the league and provide entertainment, deal with Kendra being silly, or do the bare minimum and schedule next years draft, let me know...

Because just like last year, I've quit fantasy football. Again. Maybe for the 4th or 5th time now. 

Playoffs!

Congrats to Kenneth and Erica for finishing 1 & 2, with actual winning records and getting first round byes!

Congrats on the rest of everyone else for being mediocre. Seriously, 58.3% of the league is 7-7, like the league is over .500 at being .500. 

This week, we'll the best of the 7-7s duke it out and see who ends up 8-7!

Mark vs Kieth - Battle of the Brother-in-Law!

Kendra vs David - Intermarital Battle of the Vetoed Trades!

Collusion!

It certainly did look really fishy when David trades away a 2nd, and two 5th ranked players for a 15th, 29th and 40th ranked players to Kendra, while they happen to be playing in the playoffs and residing the same domicile.

You know, that kinda looks like they're loading up a team to win in the playoffs!

This Commish may be asleep at the wheel, but at least he knows when there's a buck in the back seat!

So the story goes that David lost a side bet and was supposed to temporarily trade 3 players of Kendra's choosing... and then trade them back next week.

So anyway, I veto them because I haven't gotten to do in awhile and it makes me feel special.

And everything is now right in the world. Disaster averted! Have fun at the musical David!

Oh, and the trade deadline is Dec. 14th. Thanks for the help ESPN!

Stuff

Here's the Chargers coach after Thursday night's game:

Cheerleaders! (Wouldn't be a season without them!)

Championship - And the winner is...

So to recap, for those not following along at home:

Round 1 of the playoffs... Kieth beats Kendra, I beat Mark. Erica and Erin have byes.

Round 2 of the playoffs... Kieth beats Erin, Erica beats Me.

Round 3 of the playoffs, Championship Game, Erica vs Kieth, is going all hunky-dory going into Monday night. Erica is down by 6.56 points with only Josh Allen yet to play.

A little more than 1/2 way into the 1st quarter, a guy basically dies on the field! A bunch of full grown men cry. Then a bunch of guys say "Fuck you NFL, I'm not going back out to play in 5 minutes." The game is suspended.

Yeah, it seemed like the right thing to do in the situation.

So finally tonight, after much grand fuckery, the NFL has decided to rule the game a "no contest." No reschedule, no continuation. But somehow, stats still count.

ESPN, being a bunch of dipshits, don't appear to allow anything for week 18 match-ups because as far as I can tell, they think the season should be over. Also, who knows who's playing vs who isn't playing, it being the last week of the season. I'm not up for that level of commitment.

The way I see it, if we extrapolate Allen's 2.72 points in part of the first round we get 10.88 points per game. The lowest score Allen had all season was in Week 11 with 12.58 points, both would be good enough to push Erica to a win. 

Potentially influenced consultation from Erin determined that the matchup should be considered a tie and that the pot should be split. But isn't the saying something like "A tie is like kissing your sister?" Considering Kieth and Erica are siblings after all, that seems to hit a bit to close to home. We're picking a gosh-dang winner here! And we're doing it tonight!

Independent consultation (cough, Cory, cough) suggested looking at substituting bench players at the QB position, or to make the best possible lineup for both teams. Unfortunately for Kieth, he was fielding both a injured Tua and Hurts... and Erica had good ole' Brady Uggs, who had a massive 43.68 points. 

The one situation in this scenario in which I think Allen fails to acquire the 3.84 points is a game ending injury where he leaves the game completely. However plausible, I find this situation unlikely. 

So, after much deliberation, independent and impartial consultation, analysis, and very very complicated math, I, as ruling commissioner and eater of tacos, hereby deem Erica the winner!

I usually try to avoid the drama... but in this situation, I'm going to use the fun "Adjust Scoring" button and do the right thing. Or at least what I think is the right thing at 1:14 am right now.

Congratulations to Erica as the Winner of the 9th Annual Toilet Bowl!

Monies will be distributed when I feel like it sometime tomorrow. 

It is decided!

Sincerely, 

The Commish