7th Annual Toilet Bowl Winner Erica!

Congrats to 7th Annual Toilet Bowl Winner Erica!

Erica's B Team beat Erin 118.32-108.72, with Tom Brady leading the way as the top scorer. That's pretty shameful. I hope you're happy with yourself.

Your winning's will be on the way shortly, as soon as I figure out how to send it to you. And maybe when I get Ron to pay-up.

The sum will be pretty paltry, I'm sure it would be a lot higher if Mitch McConnell wasn't such a bitch.

Thanks for everyone for playing this year, we actually made it through he season!

7th Annual Toilet Bowl - Flushing Away 2020

Last week's results:

I was feeling good after a nice performance out of TE Hunter Henry on Thursday night, but then the weekend quickly soured. Murray tried to keep me in it, but it just wasn't meant to be. Erica scored a nice upset and took me out with a solid 123 pt score. That made me 0-2 on the weekend in Fantasy Playoffs (I almost had a chance in my other league).

I'm still debating on what to do with the Bears jacket. I said I was going to burn it, but then how would I stay warm playing Xbox in the basement? 

Perhaps the jacket is just unlucky after all... If I send it to Erica as she requested, maybe I'll be better at Rocket League? Maybe Mitch wouldn't be so Mitch-like? Food for thought.

Erin knocks out Kendra with a massive 143 points. This is the 2nd time she's put up 143 points... and they were hard earned points, not some sort of silly auto-draft magical points.

7th Annual Toilet Bowl!

Erin (2) vs Erica (5)

Both teams peaking right now, but Erin is definitely the favorite, having outscored Erica for the past couple of weeks. You have to go clear back to week 10 to find a score where Erica beats Erin... and then by less than a point.

As of right now, Erin's sitting at a 57% win according to ESPN, with 3 of her dudes outscoring their projections, but Brady had a huge game on Saturday afternoon and only played 1/2 the game! Erica's going to need a couple more high scorers if she's going to keep up.

I'm not saying who I'm rooting for, only pointing out that I'm going to be really disappointed if my wife takes a title in my own league before I do.

I'm not bitter.

But it sure would have been nice if Alvin Kamara-claus had shown up like this last week.

Playoffs Round 2 - Crampin' our way to the finals

Last week's results:

Erica takes out Cory. Cory's comment... "... the most points she has scored all season, ouch." I didn't bother to check, he sounded just bitter enough for me to believe him.

Kendra outlasts Brandi... a mere 4 point victory to get revenge on the week previous. Just when she had planned to change her team name to "From First to Worst." I vote it's still in the works.

Week 2 Matchups!

Erica (5) vs Me! (1) ... If Erica wins, I'm burning the Bear's jacket that I got randomly in a Woot 'Bag of Crap' a couple of years ago. Right now, it's my lucky Bears jacket. Take that!

Kendra (3) vs Erin (2) ... Erin's flying high right now. Winner gets 4th Grade LTE bragging rights.

Important message from Ron

Ron submitted stuff to the message board, but apparently you can't see it unless you use the ESPN Fantasy app. I'm reposting it here, so it can also go un-read in multiple places.

I hope you feel like your voice is heard. Now send me your 20 bucks.

Jackson's Jog... to the restroom

I mean, technically speaking, it's cramping when you are trying to hold back some massive diarrhea... and if that doesn't look like diarrhea jog, I don't know what does.

In other random news

Playoffs Round 1 - Conspiracy! Rematch!

The Taco household has locked up both Bye weeks! Drama! Conspiracy!

Last week brought a bit of shake up at the top... Brandi took down Kendra, paving the way for a 3-way tie at 8-5. The total points tie breaker put Erin and I in the top spots. 

Mark got the playoffs boot and Brandi moved in... only to be re-matched against Kendra. 

Round 1 Match-ups:

Erica (5) vs Cory (4)

Did Cory's slide slow down enough to carry him past Erica? 

Brandi (6) vs Kendra (3)

Rematch! Rematch! Rematch!

Byes: Me (1), Erin (2)

Sportsmax

Silly Bill

I love lamp.

Week 13 - Playoffs on the Doorstep

Last week of the regular season, top 6 get a playoff spot. As far as I can tell:

Kendra (8-4), Erin (7-5), & I (7-5) have spots locked.

Cory, Mark & Erica all sitting at 6-6 need a win to guarantee a spot in the playoffs.

Brandi is sitting at 5-7... she's got a chance, but she needs a little help. If one of the 6-6 teams loses, she'll make the playoffs because she's got the tie breaker on everybody. (ahem, except me).

Kenneth, pretty sure it's going to take a miracle.

Ron and Sean... I haven't posted the shame list in awhile I'm going to leave this here as a reminder that you still owe me money.

Jeremy & Erin

Brandi & Kenneth

Erica & Mark

Cory

Sean

Ron

Kendra

WTF Denver...

First you start a pratice squad WR in QB, then you go off and post this to your Facebook page. I'm not even sure what's going on here, but it's weird. Very weird.

Seriously Broncos. This is some weird shit.

Mormons vs the Mullets

Week 12 - TE at QB vs Practice squad WR at QB Aka the Kendall Hinton era begins

Standings: Kendra - 8-3

Cory, Erin, Mark & I - 6-5.

Everyone else, scrubs.

And just in case anybody was following along last week, Ron started two QBs and still lost to Brandi by 18 points.

Of course, he's starting the Saint's D this week, which should be a pretty decent play considering...

THE BRONCOS DON'T HAVE ANY ELIGIBLE QUARTERBACKS!

So, now we have a practice squad WR at starting QB. Sounds like 2020 to me.

Plenty of options... right?

Guess ima have to get my Lamar Jackson on

— Jerry Jeudy⁴ (@jerryjeudy) November 28, 2020

Been waiting my whole life for this moment! “Von ELWAY”. Ima passing QB don’t need to run much! Ankle is good for QB pic.twitter.com/Kc3ww0fOkp

— Von Miller (@VonMiller) November 28, 2020

Week 11 - TE's playing QB, WTF?!?

Last week I was lazy and didn't even do a half-hearted post. Don't worry, I'm sure nobody noticed.

Kendra and her auto-drafting wizardry is back on top at 7-3. 

Cory, Mark, and I, are playing catch-up at 6-4.

But in other news... did anybody notice that this week we've switched to a 2-QB league?

Well, at least one guy did... Ron. Worst to First in any way possible.

I'm going to explain this the only way I know how:

I know this makes zero sense, but the geniuses at ESPN are allowing it for 1 week. So I'm allowing it for 1 week. 

Anybody could have picked up Taysom Hill when the Saint's announced he was going to be their starting QB (maybe) for Sunday's game... Ron was just quickest to the draw.

EXCEPT THIS NEWS APPARENTLY CRASHED THE ESPN FANTASY PLATFORM!

 

Sorry Brandi. 

In other news, Broncos still suck.

Week 9 - Le-who-se-her Edition

Pennsylvania in a nutshell pic.twitter.com/0Wv9QLPHGe

— Lando.206 (@206Lando) November 6, 2020

Week 8 - Halloween Cop-out

 

Week 7 - NFC East Thursday Suckage

Cory sitting on top at 5-1.

Mark, Erin & Kendra sitting at 4-2... 

Thursday Night

Which resulted in this gem...

SNIPER ALERT #DanielJones #Giants #Eagles #TNF #NFL #NFLMemes #NFCEast #DannyDimes #Sniper pic.twitter.com/VGeed5ywza

— Digglers Softball (@DigglerSoftball) October 23, 2020

And in honor of the Broncos vs the Chefs this weekend...

The WAP continues

Week 6 - The Blake Bortles Era in Denver Has Ended

Sort of like this blog post.

Oh, also, Cory and Mark both lost last week, but Kendra is on a roll...  All sitting at 4-1.

Oops, also forget. An important update on Josh Norman.

Week 5 - Brady 4th Down Edition

Cory and Mark both win... 4-0... yadda yadda... on with the show.

Setting:

Tom, this ain't the 1990 CU Buffs!

And there she blows...

Well, I guess that horse is dead after-all.

And if you're still here, here's something not related to Tom Brady.

Week 4 - Postponement Party

Cory and Mark both got wins to stay at 3-0.

Kendra and myself are in the running at 2-1.

Ron... are you out there? 0-3 is looking pretty lonely.

Postponed... Early Bye Weeks

Titans v. Steelers went from postponed to Bye after numerous Titans players tested positive for the 'rona. 

Kansas City v. New England has been postponed and is apparently scheduled to be played Tuesday after Newton tests positive.

This, along with all the previous injuries is really putting a hurt on a lot of peoples lineups, good luck folks!

Donkeys actually won!

Slow to get up 

Melvin Gordon cant clear the hurdle and gets spun around #BroncosCountry pic.twitter.com/rFPiCWrkSN

— Roto Street Journal (RSJ) (@RotoStJournal) October 2, 2020

 

Shame List

Jeremy & Erin

Brandi & Kenneth

Erica & Mark

Cory

Sean

Ron

Kendra

Week 3 - So, who exactly is playing? (and WAP)

It might be easier to list the guys who are playing...

Players out Sunday include George Kittle, Jimmy Garoppolo, Tevin Coleman, Raheem Mostert, Dee Ford, A.J. Brown, Zack Moss, Cam Akers, Jalen Reagor, Geno Atkins, James White, Henry Ruggs, A.J. Terrell, Christian McCaffrey, Tyrod Taylor, Drew Lock, Christian Kirk, Michael Thomas.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) September 27, 2020

Add Julio Jones to the list, and apparently the Bears v Falcons game is in danger of being postponed because of positive Covid test by CB A.J. Terrell, the first player to be officially ruled out due to a Covid test. 

I'm actually kind of surprised we got to Week 3.

Standings

Cory and Mark both won last week, putting them at 2-0.

Basically everyone else is at 1-1... except Erica and Ron... and the Broncos.

But the Shame list is getting shorter:

Jeremy & Erin (why does Erin never pay-in? And why do I always pay-out?)

Brandi & Kenneth

Erica & Mark

Cory

Sean

Ron

Kendra

Speaking of the Broncos

Enter the Bortles era. 

WAP

Want to see the Disney copywrite team in action?

This video might be removed before I even have a chance to hit publish on this blog. 

Update: Mirror added!

Uncle Andy

Sean, have you ever thought of a mustache?

Week 2 - Kendra lost for the first time in 17 weeks!

I had to go back to 2018 Week 15 to find Kendra's last loss. The queen has been dethroned, you all can think yours truly for the pleasure!

Winners this week:

• Jeremy
• Seanipoo
• Erin
• Mark
• Cory

Notice how I listed myself first? If playoffs started this week, Seanipoo gets the boot with the lowest winning score. Lucky for the rest of you, playoffs don't start this week.

Hype Video

In case you didn't get adequately hyped for football season to start, here you go. A week late.

Patriots New Logo

I hear they might be considering renaming the team to the New England Cam Chowders

Meanwhile in Tampa Bay

Welcome back Tom.

Just a warning

League Dues Shame List

I'm just going to leave this here, to shame everyone else:

• Jeremy & Erin (why does Erin never pay-in? And why do I always pay-out?)
• Brandi & Kenneth
• Erica & Mark
• Cory
• Sean
• Ron
• Kendra

Don't be "that guy."

Wacky Week 1 - We don't need no stinking preseason

Draft Rankings

For anybody curious (nobody) here are the draft ranking results:

Those silly auto-drafters are looking strong again. It's amazing what happens in the rankings when you automatically pick the highest ranked player available. I think the computers just like themselves.

We'll see how it plays out this year. My guess... Kendra goes 15-0 again. Of course, I'm only saying that to put a hex on her.

New Covid-19 Rules

100% of the people who voted in the poll liked the rule addition, so we're going to go forward with the set of new rules:

- If a game is cancelled/postponed or starting players are held out of game reasonably close to the games starting time due to a covid related reason (not a normal injury), bench players can be substituted under the following conditions:

- The substituted players must be from the same position group (ie RB for RB, WR for WR, even for flex spots) 

- The substituted players must be the player with the highest PROJECTED score.

- If you have no bench players eligible, you will receive a zero score for that position. 

- The substituted bench player must have been on your bench before the start of the game they participated in (this is the don't be a dick clause).

This is going to take some manual rooster editing on my behalf. Let me know if you have a player or players that need to be substituted. 

The big key here is the phrase "reasonably close to the games starting time" that I'll be paying attention to. 4 hours is reasonably close, 4 days is not. Just a warning.

Thursday Night Chefs

League Buy-In

I'm just going to leave this here, to shame everyone else:

Jeremy & Erin (why does Erin never pay-in? And why do I always pay-out?)

Brandi & Kenneth

Erica & Mark

Cory

Sean

Ron

Kendra

Deets down below... send your big $$.

Are there going to be cheerleaders this year?

I just had a moment of panic. And now my worst fears are confirmed... no cheerleaders this year! This is a travesty! 

But at least I found this comment fitting.